Mar 4, 2011

HAPPY #17 BIRTHDAY MY HERO SUPERHERO SUPERNINJA JUSTIN DREW BIEBER

Maybe its too late to write about 'JUSTN BIEBER SWEET SEVENTEENTH BIRTHDAY' but i wanna i wanna i wanna.. lets see

March 1st is Bieber’s day apparently. Yup, the pop squirt is 17 today and no doubt mass hysteria will be breaking out in adolescent filled households throughout the world.
Teenage girls will be screaming with excitement as if it was their birthday, high school hallways will be a battlefield where troops of ‘beliebers’ will be annoying the crap out of everyone else and parents will still be scratching their heads in bewilderment at what exactly the fuss is all about.
I was amused to read comments made by hype building, band wagon jumping Bieber acolyte ‘journalists’, in particular one who said that the boy wonder had been alive just 17 years yet had accomplished more than most people do in their entire lives.
Accomplished what exactly? Made some songs which were produced by a team of highly skilled music industry people, marketed by the same and hyped by wet-lipped teenage girls who have nothing better to think about other than that they might one day marry the little whelp and have his babies.
Wonder if he’d still be anti-abortion if that happened?
Oh, he made a film as well, although I doubt he actually had much to do with that either. The story of a brat on tour is about as appealing as using my retinas as pin cushions.
No, I’m sorry but on his own Bieber has accomplished very little, and it’s only his mother’s love of income and the huge promotional machine working behind the scenes which allows him to continue sucking the money straight out of children’s pockets into his label’s and mother’s bank accounts.

When you break down the Bieber phenomenon there’s not much to it. His songs have no depth, he’s presented more on squeaky clean image than anything else; his interviews are vacuous and in truth his only involvement in all of this is to have his face, haircut, and make public appearances from time to time.
Bill Hicks had a great line on ‘pop’ stars. There was the involvement of Satan, 15 minutes of fame and some vigorous fellatio as I remember. Read MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice as Justin Bieber and I think we’re on the right track.
Bieber has no soul, he’s just another facade of clever marketing aimed at gullible and easily led children by an unscrupulous music industry.

Justin Bieber turns 17 tomorrow and here are a few of the things we’d like to gift him!

ShareWhat presents do you get for one of the biggest celebs in the world? Justin Bieber turns 17 March 1 and all of us here at HollywoodLife.com have been wracking our brains trying to come up with the best gifts for the pint-sized superstar. Without further ado, here are our favorite options thus far:

Pecs – Editor-In-Chief Bonnie Fuller would love to give the Biebs some pecs for his birthday. Why? “He just needs them,” she says.

A mustache — Justin is almost an adult but he’s no where near close to having enough facial hair to grow a mustache. We’d give him a ’stache so he can rock “Mustache Mondays” and maybe avoid paparazzi a little better.

A belt — West Coast Producer Kirstin Benson is sick of seeing Justin’s tush stick out from his pants. It’s not 1997. Give the kid a belt already!

A hall pass – Associate Editor Andy Swift and Weekend Editor Chris Spargo want to give the Biebs a hall pass…and not for him to skip class. “Justin’s fans say Selena Gomez is changing him,” Andy explains. “He needs a hall pass so he can explore other territories.” Mmmkay.

American citizenship — Although Justin says he has no interest in becoming an American citizen, we’d still love to claim the little genius as one of our own. Any objections? No? That’s what we thought.

In all seriousness, Justin is actually putting his birthday to good use and is asking fans to donate $17 (or more) to Charity: Water to help raise $17,000 for clean water in developing nations.

“1 in 8 people in the world lack access to clean water. so this year i want to give my birthday away to help @charitywater #makeachange …,” he tweeted Feb. 28

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